all my might
the middle daughter comes to visit
she rakes leaves in the yard while
I sit nearby but safely far away and
we chat about change and the wild
violets that chose today to reveal their
purple mystery and later when I am
pulling winter off the strawberry bed
she tells me about the thing that makes
her sad and we lean forward for the
hug that comes naturally and then
pull away with a yard of air still open
between us because nowadays we do
not share a bubble in space that way
and the whole time she is here I have
to resist the urge to ask her in for tea
or to reach out a hand and finally while
I sit again she passes behind me with
the rake and plants a kiss on the top
of my head like a blessing while I hold
my breath from the effort of not grabbing
her in for a squeeze because if you had
ever told me there would come a day
when I cannot hold my baby when she
is sad I would have told you to fuck off
with your bad vibes but here we are
I'm learning to love with all my might
and keep my hands in my lap too
~ Dina Stander, April 25, 2020 / covid poems